Radek left the two men alone. Carson debated with himself whether or not to push Rodney on what was going on in his mind but before he could decide McKay packed up his laptop, explaining, “It’s been a long morning, you should rest. I need to spend a couple of hours in the lab.”
“That’s all I bloody do!” The frustration behind the words was genuine, “and don’t think that my resting is going to get you out of talking about this.” His stare made it clear that nap or no nap, there would be a conversation. Rodney left after making sure that Carson was settled and had taken his medicine. Someone would stop by with lunch and to see to any needs so that McKay could spend some much needed time catching up with the work and supervising has staff. Of course this was Rodney so the couple of hours turned into a lot more and it was going on six by the time he returned, dinner trays in hand and in a much better mood for the time spent focusing on Ancient technology.
The door slid open and Rodney walked in setting two trays down on the bed with a flourish and a wry, “Dinner, such as it is.” Carson watched him pull a chair over, relieved that the trays contained food that didn’t require two hands to eat it. It was obvious from Rodney’s mood that the time in the lab had been productive. They settled in to eat silently for a few minutes, both content just to have some quiet company. When the food was mostly gone, Carson piped up,
“You had a good day, I can tell.”
“If you can call plowing through reports and discovering that in my absence all the laws of physics have been rewritten, good.” The complaint lacked any real conviction and it didn’t wipe away the quirky grin, so Carson teased, “Then I guess you didn’t get to play with any fiddly bits, did you?”
“Fiddly bits? Only you would call Ancient technology ‘fiddly bits’”
“Oh aye, with all those blinky lights and wee little buttons whatever else would ye call them?” His eyes sparkled as Rodney scowled and rolled his eyes.
“What am I doing trying to talk reason to a man who calls voodoo dolls and rattles science?”
“Ah, but you’re here so I must have some redeeming qualities. So if it’s not my brain, what is it?” Carson had reached for Rodney’s dessert, meaning to steal it but wasn’t quick enough and before the words were out his wrist was trapped.
“Touch that again and you’ll pay!”
“Is that a promise, luv?” That got Rodney’s attention and he looked up, slightly surprised at what he saw. Carson must be feeling better.
“If I can’t touch your dessert, what can I touch?” Carson’s eyes were unnaturally bright and he was staring straight at Rodney, a slight grin lighting his face. It was the look that sent reason packing and heat to his groin. He raised his good arm, using Rodney’s grip on his wrist to pull the other man closer. “I think I could be persuaded to have something else for dessert and leave the pudding for you.” When Rodney’s hand was close enough he blew warm breath across the fingers and nipped at a nearby knuckle.
Rodney let go and tried to scoot back but once again the Scottsman had other ideas. “Carson, we can’t, you’re not…” Fingers brushed along his jaw and slid back to pull him forward into a kiss. It was slow and sweet, and it had been so damn long. He melted into the feel of it, the warmth, the soft fullness, the barest edge of teeth nipping at his lips. Rodney’s cock filled with heat, aching as Carson filled his senses.
When the need for air forced them apart, Rodney shook his head to clear it, “Nononono! We can’t do this.” He stood up and started pacing.
“Rodney, I’ve had all day to lay here and think about it. I know we have to take it easy, but damn it man, I want you!”
McKay was torn, his body, hell his mind was telling him to strip Carson naked and touch every single inch of skin then spend long hours fucking until both of them were senseless. But his conscience wouldn’t let him.
The emotions flickered across Rodney’s face in real time, letting Beckett see just how conflicted his would-be lover was. He sighed, “What is it, luv. What’s the matter?” He reached for Rodney’s hand and snagged it on the way by, commanding. “Sit. Talk to me.”
Unsure where to begin, Rodney blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “Radek came to the lab for a while.”
“It felt good, felt almost like before.” He still wouldn’t meet Beckett’s eyes.
“No but. I liked it.”
Carson thought about it for few seconds then ventured, “Liked it too much?”
“What happens the next time I screw up?” He waved a hand, seeming to encompass everything that had gone on the last few months.
“Well, that is the question isn’t it? And not one any of us can answer.” He wasn’t going to sugarcoat it.
McKay slumped “You’re only human Rodney. You make mistakes. We all do. Sheppard woke the Wraith, I helped a planet commit suicide. You blew up a solar system. There’ll be more for all of us.”
“God I hope not.” Atheism aside, Rodney prayed that they’d be spared any more of these disasters.
“They were wrong Rodney, and they know it. Sheppard and I, we got away with our mistakes because we didn’t have the reputation for pulling deliverance out of our arses. They forgot you’re just as fallible as anyone else. Hell, even I forget it, sometimes. It scared all of us to be reminded.”
“But you didn’t shut me out.” It was mumbled, quiet.
“I did, shut you out. Why aren’t you angry at me?”
“Ah, I see. We haven’t talked about that yet, have we?” Rodney shook his head, not wanting to make eye contact. “Look at me, luv.” He used his good hand to capture Rodney’s chin and force him to meet his eyes. “I trust you not to do it again.”
Searching for any sign of doubt, Rodney sighed when it wasn’t there, “Then you’re not mad at me?”
“Oh, aye, I’m mad at you. You have a lot of making up to do. Doesn’t change the fact that I love you.” The last was almost too much, so they sat in silence for a while before Carson laid a hand on his thigh. “I want you, Rodney. Please? I almost lost you, did lose you for two weeks and right now I just want to be with you.” He hated sounding so needy.
“Have you had any medicine?” When Carson nodded, he continued, “You’ll tell me if I’m hurting you?”
“You worry too much.” He reached out and pulled Rodney to him, chest to chest.
It started out tentatively, the first brush of lips was soft and sweet. Carson closed his eyes and let his whole being feel the play of heat and desire that having Rodney’s mouth on his conjured up. At one point he’d thought he would never have this again. The memory of that pain made him frantic to reclaim lost treasure. He opened his mouth, letting Rodney in and captured the hard questing tongue, sucking on it, letting his own be taken. The warmth and weight of Rodney’s body against his, the feel of a hand on his cheek had him yearning for more skin, letting go and sliding his one good hand down until it found the hem of Rodney’s shirt. God, the feel of skin beneath his finger tips was exquisite, smooth with a dusting of hair. Rodney’s body trembled beneath his touch.
“Clothes….off.” It was all he got out before Rodney reclaimed his mouth. The hand that wasn’t steadying Carson’s head trailed down, careful of the injured shoulder, until it found the waistband of his sweats. Slipping inside, he let his hand rest against the velvet hardness, needing all his control not to come just knowing that he was the one that put the fire there and the look of pure lust in those blue eyes.
“Do something!” Carson’s hips were trying to thrust but the need to protect his injured shoulder made it almost impossible. “Please, oh god, Rodney!”
He leaned in for another kiss and started to fuck Carson’s mouth with his tongue while he stroked the flesh in his hand. It was so good, feeling the body beneath him tremble, hearing the moans that escaped past their joined mouths. He could do this forever, but then he felt Carson’s pulse quicken and his breath hitch. He broke the kiss, wanting to finish it with his mouth but it all went too fast and he had to settle for laying his forehead on Carson’s chest as semen covered his hand.
Rodney lay still until he could feel Carson’s breathing steady. Lifting up, taking his weight off the good shoulder, he nuzzled it, nipping along the top and then down to suck on the one pebbled nipple that wasn’t hidden by bandages or the sling. It was too much, Carson was too sensitive, “Stop! Oh god! Stop before you kill me!”
Rodney settled for another kiss, more leisurely, until he felt Carson’s hand wander down to where his own unsatisfied need was still making his pulse race. “You don’t need to…”
“I know, but I want to. Come here.” Wrapping his good arm around Rodney’s waste he pulled him forward, lightly mouthing his erection through two layers of clothing. “I thought I told you to get rid of these.”
“I guess I got distracted.”
“Well you’re not now, are you?”
Seconds later he was back, straddling Carson now, naked and hard. The arm that wrapped around him pulled forward until he was on his knees, hands pressed against the wall. Warm breath played over his erection, making it twitch with need. Looking down he saw the moment that Carson opened his mouth and took him inside. It was so intense, every inch of him thrummed with the pleasure of being sucked hot and wet. He was past any reason, his hips jerked as the suction increased. Muscles loosened to take him all the way in, convulsed a little around his thickness. A finger slipped between his cheeks, teased at his opening, pressing but not entering. He was babbling, nonsense, begging as he thrust forward into the wet heat and back, wanting to be filled until finally, finally Carson pressed forward into him and Rodney screamed as he came.